When Culture Disconnects: A Wake-Up Call for Immigrant Families

Between cultures, between worlds too many of our children carry the weight of unspoken battles. It’s time to meet them with love, not fear

A  story circulating on Somali social media has shaken the community. It is said that a mother living in the United States brought her 17-year-old daughter to Mogadishu as a response to “misbehavior.” Reports claim she asked for her daughter to be held in prison, where the teen was then sexually assaulted by guards.

Imagine this: a mother leaving her daughter in a jail cell, believing it would teach her a lesson only for prison guards to strip her of safety, dignity, and humanity.

Whether every detail of this story proves true or not, the lesson it raises is undeniable: misbehavior from a child should never result in unlawful detention.

This is not about discipline. It is about cultural disconnection.

Immigrant parents often raise their children through the lens of survival. They measure love through food, shelter, and opportunity, because these are the things they once lived without. But American-born children are growing up in a culture that teaches them independence, voice, and choice. When these two realities collide, love gets lost in translation.

As a coach, I have sat with countless youth who swallow their pain in silence because their parents assume that providing the basics is enough. I have heard teenagers whisper that they feel unseen, unloved, and misunderstood even while living in homes full of material provision. And I have witnessed the frustration of parents who cannot understand why their children are still hurting, because they are comparing that hurt to their own childhoods filled with war, hunger, or displacement.

The truth I’ve learned is this: survival is not the same as love. Control is not the same as connection. And punishment will never take the place of presence.

The tragedy is that instead of building bridges of understanding, some parents choose measures that sever trust entirely. Sending a child away, detaining them, or punishing them in ways that strip their dignity does not heal misbehavior, it deepens the wound.

This is why institutions like schools, religious institutions, community organizations, and the government must step in. Parents need safe spaces and group trainings where they can learn new ways of parenting in a culture their children are deeply tied to, but they themselves may not fully understand. Without these interventions, the gap between immigrant parents and American-born children will only widen, leaving more families fractured and more children harmed in the name of honor.

So I leave you with this question: if this story is true, what do you think will happen to this mother when she returns to the United States? Legal consequences? Community judgment? Or the lifelong distance of a child who no longer trusts her?

The question is not just for her, it is for all of us. Will we keep parenting from fear, or will we finally choose the harder but more powerful path of connection?

Because here is the truth: this teenage girl would have eventually grown out of the hormonal stage of growing. But now, she is scarred for life.